One Million Dollars for Preservation

I was invited to grace a single’s party. At first, I thought it was embarrassing. At 32, I am supposed to have a boyfriend. Life is just so unfair. I have a gay best friend. I‘m straight and he’s gay but he has a boyfriend and I don’t have one. What a pitiful life! I told my gay best friend about it. And then he said that destiny has something to do with it and some funny t shirts .

He got his boyfriend because of a t-shirt that somebody gave him about two years ago from an online store. In my mind, what’s has got a t-shirt to do with his very successful romantic relationship with a very able gay man. And then he told the story of him waiting for a train in Berlin and his current boyfriend read the message on his t-shirt and shared a good laugh with him on the way to a city near Berlin. And from that day on, they never left each other.

So my best friend brought me a funny shirt online from this really cool website and in time for the dating game that I was supposed to attend to. It caught the attention of a very handsome man from Sweden who was looking for a lifetime partner in this part of the world. To make it short, we’ve been together for 2 years now and going stronger. Thanks to the funny shirts website.

My brother tried to play a trick on me with a gift he gave me. He had obviously found a website that you could design your own funny t shirts. I had been trying to get my boyfriend to propose to me and was having no luck. I guess that my brother thought that he could help me out.

At my thirtieth birthday party, we were having a great time and then it was time to open the presents. I opened the gift from my brother first, and it was one of those funny t shirts that said “Will You Marry Me” on it. I was a little shocked, and asked who the funny t shirt was from. My brother said that it must have been from my boyfriend. I knew it was not. I was trying to laugh it off, because I wanted everyone to think it was a joke and that it did not bother me. I then opened another gift that had another one of those funny shirts in it, and it said “You did not answer me”. I was starting to get a little embarrassed but continued to open gifts anyway.

The last gift was in a huge box, and then had a bunch of smaller boxes in it until I got to a diamond engagement ring. I was really mad at my brother then, he had gone too far. It was actually from my boyfriend and he and my brother had tried to throw me off with the funny t shirts. It worked.

I had to take my son on a college visit last month and was shocked at the amount of offensive shirts that are worn by college kids. I wanted to cover my son’s eyes but then remembered that he was eighteen and would probably start doing the same thing once he got away from home. He commented that a lot of the kids had some great funny shirts when we left. I then knew that what I called offensive shirts, my son thought were funny shirts.

I guess that I can pretty much count on him wearing them. I hope that he has his own money to buy them though, because I will not be doing that for him. His father says that it is harmless and that all the kids do it but I thought that my son was a little more mature than that.

I remember some of the things that I did in college and would never tell my son those stories. Hopefully his father has not been telling him all of his college stories but I have a feeling that he has already. I guess if wearing some offensive shirts is the worst thing he is going to do then I should consider myself very lucky.

When I was chosen to head up the committee for my daughters school fundraiser, I had lots of ideas. The only problem with most of my ideas was that I would need lots of volunteers to make them work and volunteers are hard to come by.

I then ran some of my ideas by our current PTO president and she loved the one about the kids making a donation of any amount and being able to design funny t shirts in class. I knew that I could get the local stores to donate all of the t shirts and one of the art stores told us that they would give us all the fabric paint that we would need. I was excited to announce it to the students the following day.

The PTO president and I each designed funny t shirts that night and wore them when we were in front of the kids to announce the fundraiser. We had taken pictures of ourselves while we were designing the funny shirts and I think that the kids really got a kick out of them.

We raised over seven thousand dollars with that fundraiser and it is planned for next year too. The best part of the fundraiser was that we also planned a funny t shirts day for them to wear their shirts, they loved it and wore their t shirts proudly.

I sold all my funny t shirts in our yard sale last week. Some of the funny t shirts I had had since I was in college. That was about fifteen years ago. I had to be careful about the ones that I put out because I had several adult t shirts that I would not want just anyone to see. I did however notice a really young guy and he was wearing an offensive t shirt at my yard sale.

I pulled the young guy over and told him that I had some really nice adult t shirts that he might like. I got out the box and let him look them over. He ended up taking all of them and I made a quick thirty bucks on the deal. By the end of the day, I had sold all but one of my funny t shirts and had gotten rid of most of the junk that was in the garage. I think that my total was thirty dollars for the adult t shirts, fifty dollars and the funny t shirts and about three hundred on everything else that I sold that day. I hope that my yard sale next year does double that amount.

My dad told me that he would buy me some funny t shirts to wear when we go back to school. The only catch was that I had to buy them all online because he was not going to the mall during the back to school madness shopping time.

I agreed that this was a good deal, and set out to find some crazy t shirts on some cool websites that I had heard about. My friend Steve had told me that some of the funny t shirt websites have deals on shirts that are not selling so well. He said that it was like a clearance rack at the mall. I figured that if I found cheaper crazy t shirts, then I could get more of them.

My dad gave me his credit card and told me not to spend more than a hundred dollars. I knew from checking the night before, that I could probably get at least four to six funny t shirts with that amount.

I ended up being able to get five regular priced shirts and two clearance shirts for a hundred dollars. They were all delivered to our door, which made my dad very happy.

This will be how I expect my dad to do my Christmas shopping too, for me and him.

When our networking system went haywire at the office last week the first thing I did was to call a nationally known computer networking company. I told the guy on the phone that all of our computers just shut down all of a sudden. I was really in a panic that they all crashed and we would lose a whole day of profits which would be very bad. The man on the other line asked me if we had any cat5e patch panels. I am just a telemarketer and the boss was on vacation I told him, I had no clue what cat5e patch panels even were. He told me to follow the coax cable back from the routers that were feeding our computers. That I could handle and it lead me into the room that housed all the servers and switches. The coax cables that I followed went right into a grey box which I later found out was one of these cat5e patch panels that he was talking about. I needed to get a screwdriver and open the first of the cat5e patch panels and let the guy know what the switch read inside. After about twenty minutes on the phone we figured out that a server went down because it was updating. The system came back on and everything was fine. I did find where a mouse had started to chew through one of the coax cables so we got that replaced just to be safe.

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